The Web.

You know those times when you have to use your headphones that you kept in your bag or a pocket but they are tangled? Do you get that feeling of minor frustration because you have to go through the trouble of untangling it? How annoying, right?

Or maybe you remember the time when you had to move your whole desk from one place to the next and all the computer and printer wires, along with any other wires in the back of the desk, all dusty and have to be untangled before you can move them? Just the thought of it now makes you re-live the stress!

Who we are today is a compilation all our past experiences, all tangled together forming a web: all the relationships, trains of thought, changing and evolving worldviews and philosophies - all jumbled together. They are all combined and all came from somewhere or somoene, all leading to this present moment shaping your reality. We are literally in the center of a web of all those past memories and experiences and the longer we live, the more tangled and confusing our inner world gets if left nodded, untraced and unresolved.

The things is, the untangling is not an easy process and may even be stressful because you have to really take it all apart and trace each thread individually to see where that feeling, emotion, reaction, thought, way or thinking, reacting came from. It takes patience with oneself, dedication, intentionality and desire to know who you really are. In essence - that is the process of becoming undone and this road is narrow and only few take the journey to their TRUE SELF.

No matter how hard the process, it is the most rewarding thing you can do in your life, for at the end of it you will know yourself and know where you came from, you will be able to strip all falsehood away, understand yourself and know the YOU that you were created to be. When you understand yourself better, you can then be able to have a healthy relationship with yourself and offer a healthy you to others. It will help you move into your future without all the past baggage and you will be able to avoid a lot of unnecessary negative, conflicting and confusing situations and relationships. It will also prevent you from punishing persons you love for the pain that came from those situations from your past. 

So, how do you even go about this untangling process? 

Where do you begin?

Just like with the simple untangling of the wires, the first thing that helps is if you disconnect and unplug all the wires. You need to disconnect from the daily hustle and bustle. Perhaps for you this would mean you need to make time to go into nature regularly with the intention to disconnect from the distractions, from the worldly noise of daily stresses. This may mean you need to take a few mornings or evening to go drive to the beach or hike into the mountains and watch the sunrise or a sunset, or just sit under a tree in a shade. Sometimes when you need special clarity, you may want to take a whole week, two or more to retreat to a place surrounded by nature to really clear your head.

The second step, now that you have disconnected the wires, is you need to find the end of the wire. Once you can find the end of the wire, even just one, and begin to free that one from the rest, everything loosens up, right? Well, it is the same with untangling your emotional web. Begin with just one thing, a small one, such as the current struggle. Perhaps you can trace a particular reaction you have towards a person you love. You may be reacting to that person in an angry and unfair way, or they may be bringing an emotion out of you that leads you to react in anger and frustration. Trace that feeling to a similar past experience that cemented a block that now this person triggers in you. It may be a person or an experience. Were you hurt before by your parents or someone else and this new person is pushing that button? Have you been hurt and disappointed before by someone and now you are reacting to this person unfairly simply because you trusted someone before and they betrayed you? Trace it, keep a journal, it helps the untangling process.

The third step is to take each untangled wire and neatly wrap it and set it to the side before you move on to repeating the process with detangling another wire from the bunch. You need to do the same thing to process an emotion or thought. Once you identified where the thought, emotion or a particular way of thinking stems from, acknowledge it, evaluate it and recognize it as a past experience. If it is a certain way of thinking ask yourself "Where did that though come from?" Was that angry reaction traced to the insecurity inflicted by a bully from the eight grade? Was it a constant voice from a verbally abusive parent who said you will not amount to anything? Was it the betrayal of a boyfriend or a girlfriend whom you gave your whole heart and trust to and they threw it away in an instant that damaged your self worth? Identify it. Now evaluate it: is this an opinion of a person who themselves are acting out of their own insecurity? Is this a voice in your head that came from an unhealthy broken and frustrated parent? Is this an opinion of someone who was having a bad day and they took it out on you? Is it possible that you have built your entire perception of yourself on something that is not real and untrue? When you evaluate it, you will come to an understanding that what you think or believe about something is a product of your environment or a voice of a person in your head. Maybe it's an ideology that you have adopted as your own, but do you REALLY think that for ourself? Where did you get it from, is it really yours?

Recognize it for it's true value and either let it go or better yet, try to figure out what is the true ideology on that particular issue. For example, if it is a voice that cause you to feel insecure then you need to go to the true understanding of your worth. Your worth does not come from an opinion of another person, you do not need to be validated by someone to know that you are worthy of love, because you are loved by your Creator and God loved you so much that He sent His only Son to die for you so that you can be called His son or daughter, He knows you because He made you in His very own image. So, step four - the most important step - it is your response in action! In this case, it's changing your perception and knowing the Truth, that your identity and understanding of who you are and how you see yourself needs to be readjusted and you need to begin to see yourself as God, Who made you, sees you. Imagine how that would change everything! When you recognize this you will be able to have your identity unraveled and now you can move forward and grow. 

As you repeat this process over and over with one issue at a time and one string of memory or ideology that is imprinted on you at a time, you will know where it all stems from and you will either declutter a lot of unnecessary thinking or you will be able to let God transform your mind as you seek His Ultimate Truth in His Word to help you understanding everything about yourself, others and the world. He is a Good Father and He promises to transform us into who He intended us to be but it has to come through the process of becoming undone so that He can renew our minds. We can be intentional and we ought to participate in the process of untangling the web of all the memories and experiences that cause us to be angry, upset, unfulfilled, not even knowing why because it is all so very knotted. Things suddenly begin to make sense, situations no longer catch you off guard, you can face difficulties with a renewed sense of trust that God is in control and this will bring you peace that surpasses all understanding. You will no longer be tossed about by the opinions because you will be more and more aligned to the oder of God's way of thinking. Your relationships will not only improve but you can now help others and God can use you and your life's journey to speak into other people who also need help with the detangling!

Begin the process of untangling the web and follow the steps - your older self will thank you. 

What is the right question?

Isn't it incredible to observe how our walk through life towards our eventual destination is never a straight path? Have you ever sat down and simply observed your life's journey, even for a brief moment? It turns out this is not a usual, much less desirable pastime for most people. In fact, people who actually sit and reflect on their life, pause to evaluate their choices, intentionally observe their life's journey and ponder existence are quickly labeled 'too deep'.

If you are still reading this, maybe you can relate. However, you may also be the person who does not really care about labels, and that is really a great thing :)

As I have gone through life thus far, one of the best things that I have done was ask questions, especially the one question that matters most - "Why?". This is probably the most powerful and helpful question, I believe, we can ask ourselves as we navigate life, which can potentially provide  us with the knowledge and understanding as to "How" best we can make our existence count.

The question "Why?" begs for exploration of life and exudes the desire and curiosity to understand the way things were really meant to be and function. The biggest human downfall is when we fail to ask that question and simply do something "because it was always done this way" or worse - never even caring to begin with, simply going with the flow. Even Jesus Himself in the concluding book of the Bible said "I know you well, that you are neither hot nor cold; I wish you were one or the other. But since you are merely lukewarm, I will spit you out of my mouth!" (Revelation 3:15-16). This is not a judgmental statement, in fact, it was a loving statement made to give us all some tough love and wake us up from the indifference that we sometimes would find ourselves.

One thing life taught me and that was to be a fighter. We ought to fight the good fight of taking back our God-given identity and defending that which is just, beautiful and righteous. We are all made in God's own image and that is something that I realized we should not take lightly. The one thing that mainstream culture and through it the prince of this earth is fighting for is to rob us of our identity. Jesus died so that our identity could be restored and we could be once again called the children of God, the heirs of His Kingdom, not of this world. In this day and age we must strive to understand who we are, and it all starts with one right question: Why?

Why do you believe what you believe?
Why do you do what you do?
Why do you feel what you feel?
Why do you see things the way you see them?
Why do you think the way you do about anything?

Think about those questions...is it because someone inserted those thoughts into your head, programmed it into your psyche? Was it because your parents believe it and now you follow their footsteps? Or perhaps you have observed it enough around your environment and you are following everyone else?

Answering these questions may not be the most pleasant experience, but trust me...your awakening behind here. This is the question that will open new levels of understanding not only to how life works and which path you should take, but most importantly it will show you the deeper truths and realities of who you really are and Whose you are.

Welcome to the real life, the one that will matter!